A Love Letter To Single Parents
To all of the single parents out there -
I am writing this list of truths to you as a love song, in the hopes that you sing it to yourself, as you would a lullaby to your child. Whisper it to yourself when you are feeling defeated, alone...less than. Shout it to yourself when you feel like you’ve done an amazing job, but don’t have anyone to help you celebrate. Repeat it to yourself when you’re having a crazy day, week, month, year, and you need something, anything to help you get through. These truths are meant to be mantras - reminders of who you really are when you’re seeing yourself through a lens distorted by hurt and worry.
You are enough. You have everything you need within you to DO THIS. Whether you feel that you are exactly where you want to be right now or not, you are enough...for you AND for your family. Feel that. Trust in that.
You are whole. With or without a partner you are a whole person, and believing that is the greatest gift you can give yourself and your child. Belief in your own wholeness and your own abundance is the root of self-esteem.
You are patient. Show the same patience to YOURSELF that you would like to show your child. You probably need it more! By demonstrating how you handle your own mistakes, you are teaching your child the gifts of patience and self-love.
You are kind. Show yourself the same kindness you would show your child. When we are kind to ourselves, we have the energy to be kind to others.
You are forgiving. It may not always feel this way, but when we believe that we CAN BE forgiving, we ARE forgiving, which helps us to let go of resentment.
You are magic. This does not mean the house is always clean, or you remember every themed-dress day at school or you pack a perfectly-balanced lunch for your child every day. This does not mean that you never say no. This does not mean you are perfect. This means that you can stop and recognize the special, magical moments when things feel REALLY AMAZING, and you can acknowledge that you were at least partially responsible for that feeling.
You have time to fix it. Nothing that is ruptured, nothing that is broken is beyond repair. And it can wait until you’re ready.
You are love. Love yourself just as you are. No qualifying, no rationalizing, no justifying.
Love yourself unconditionally.
Lauren Urban, LMSW is a therapist in private practice in Williamsburg, BK. When she is not seeing patients and contributing to the blogs of colleagues, Lauren is working on employing mindfulness and self-acceptance in her own everyday life and trying to take careful note of the tiny, magical things that she does daily. Follow her on Facebook: @PsychoBabbleBrooklyn, Instagram: @psychobabblebrooklyn . Read her blog on www.psychobabble-brooklyn.com for articles on things that you can probably relate to.